Shibari risks: a beginners guide
You’re new to the shibari scene, and that’s a wonderful, beautiful, intoxicatingly lovely thing! I’m genuinely happy that you’ve found this new and exciting obsession, and I hope you enjoy it to the fullest!
There are definitely some risks to be aware of as you immerse yourself in rope play. This is by no means a complete list, but my hope is that this list will inspire within you a certain reverence for each experience, as there are very real and serious risks that can be involved. My purpose with this list is absolutely not to scare you away, but rather to get you started down a path to enjoying shibari safely and consensually. I can only speak for myself, but when I began to fully understand and appreciate the risks involved, my paradigm shifted and my practice improved greatly - deeper connection, more intimate scenes, and partners who’s trust in me grew with each experience.
Nerve Compression
Starting with the big one (and that’s not to minimize any of the other dangers on this list), nerve compression is probably the most prevalent issue and it’s one of the easiest to inflict. A single misplaced rope that’s just slightly too tight can result in permanent nerve damage. This can manifest as tingling or numbness, sharp pain, or loss of feeling or movement. It is often temporary, but it can absolutely be permanent.
The good news? It’s easily preventable, and you don’t have to go to medical school or memorize an anatomy textbook to practice safely. Now, I think it’s a good idea to know and understand some anatomy, especially as your shibari skills grow and you move into more complex ties and suspensions.
If you’re a beginner, here’s a good starting point: know where the high-risk spots are and either avoid them altogether or proceed with extreme caution and care. The three spots to be aware of as you begin:
inner arms between the shoulder and elbow
wrists and ankles
just above and just below the knees, as well as behind the knees.
Again, this is just a starting point! You should strive to have your knowledge of nerves, muscles, range of movement, and general anatomy parallel your growth in skills with tensions and knots.
If something feels off, whether your the rigger or the bottom, untie immediately!
There’s no shame in being safe and starting over. Safety should always be a priority!
For detailed nerve maps and rope bondage visuals, check out TheDuchy.com - it’s a really great resource for safety and learning!
Circulation Issues
This one is a bit easier to spot, as it’s usually (not always) accompanied by a change in skin tone - if the skin turns blue-ish, gets cold, or puffy, the blood flow has likely been restricted or cut off. When blood doesn’t go where it needs to, it’s not a good thing. Circulation issues aren’t as serious as nerve issues, as they can typically be remedied by simply restoring blood flow. That doesn’t mean that they’re to be taken lightly, though.
If you’re the bottom, or the one being tied, notice how your body feels and advocate for yourself if something need to change. If you’re the rigger, or the one doing the tying, pay attention to your partner before, during, and after the rope is in place.
there’s a simple test for circulation issues: press a finger firmly on the affected area until it turns white, then remove your finger and see how long it takes for the color to return. If it’s 2 seconds or less, you’re good to go. If it takes longer than 2 seconds, you need to loosen, adjust, or untie.
A good habit to get into is to take a few moments before you begin the scene and do a quick mental scan of your body: are there any aches, pains, joint or mobility issues? Just notice how your body feels overall and make a mental note. This is your baseline before the scene which makes it easier to notice issues if they present during the scene.
Rope Burn
We’ve probably all experienced a rope burn at some point, friction burns can happen very easily! The good news is that they’re just as easy to avoid, and all you have to do is slow down!
As you’re tying (or untying) the rope wil necessarily be moving across the skin. Move too fast, and OUCH! That’s a rope burn! And it can happen even with soft ropes like nylon, not just jute or hemp.
So, slow down. Be deliberate and steady when tying or untying. And if rope burn does happen, a little aloe vera or other skin balm can help soothe the skin.
Drop
Obviously a physical drop is a bad thing, and one that probably requires medical attention (and it’s own article, probably), but what I’m referring to here is the emotional drop after a scene. This is one that most beginners don’t take into consideration, usually because they’re not even aware that it’s a thing.
During a shibari scene or session, it’s very common to be excited! All kinds of brain chemicals contribute to this excitement, and that’s a wonderous and beautiful thing! However, when that rush of brain chemicals goes back to normal levels, it can be a bit disconcerting and even traumatic. This is what we call “the Drop”, and it’s just your body and mind coming down from the ride.
It’s a good idea to plan for the Drop with aftercare and follow-up communication, and whatever else may be appropriate for the dynamic and the scene. After care is a pretty big subject all on it’s own, but can include snacks, cuddle time, quiet time, conversation, video games - whatever everyone wants and agrees on, really. The important thing is that your partner feels safe and loved. Shibari can be a really intense experience, take care of each other afterwards too.
Muscle Strain/Injury
Shibari is a very physical activity, whether you’re the rigger or the bunny. Regardless of which role you’re in for the scene, it’s smart to prepare and be conscious of your body and muscles. Before you tie, talk about any past injuries or areas of concern. It’s a good idea to discuss mobility and movement, as well as physical comfort in a particular position. For example, asking “how long can you kneel comfortably” is a good question if the position requires your partner to be kneeling for more than a few minutes.
Be mindful of the potential for muscle injury and strain, and communicate with your partner. And there’s nothing wrong with switching positions or naming adjustments in the middle of a scene or tie.
A final note
This is by no means a complete list of all the dangers and risks associated with shibari, kinbaku, and rope/bondage play. This is simply presented as a doorway, an invitation to learn more so that you and your partners can be safe - mentally, physically, and emotionally.
